What we want is to see the child in pursuit of knowledge, and not knowledge in pursuit of the child. ~George Bernard Shaw

Let's sit and chat

Published by dbdragon on Mon, 10/15/2012 - 23:53 in

Tags 

Observations, daily life

So this past weekend, we were in the city running some errands and I popped into a local coffee shop to pick up some coffee and hot chocolates for my traveling circus. As I stood there amongst the oh so trendy and chic city folk, I realized something very strange.... no one was actually talking to each other. A family of four sat at the table closest to me. The Mom and Dad on their cell phones and each child playing a game on a device of one sort or another. At another table, five college students sat with their identical Apple laptops butted up together gazing a screens occasionally reaching for the nearest beverage. Everyone in line was on their phone, and everyone sitting down was lost in one sort of screen or another. Not a single conversation was happening in the entire place.

Ok, now I know that I am not the norm. Our kids are media free, we don’t have TV at home, and while both hubby and I work on the computer (especially seeing as he is a software developer), when we go for lunch or coffee, we do not bring these things with us. We actually sit and ...*gasp* talk! I know that many people out there sit and talk as well. I know what I saw was an extreme but it is not that uncommon.

When our local coffee shop was open (RIP Cafe Molo) they refused to put WiFi in. People grumbled, people complained, but you know what? It worked. People came and sat down and chatted. Chatted with the person at the table with them, chatted with the person at the table next to them, chatted with the people standing in line. It was lovely. It was friendly. It was exactly how a coffee shop should be. All of our technology has brought the world within reach for everyone everywhere, but what happens when it makes us out of touch with those around us?

This isn’t meant to be a rant, it really isn’t. I know we are extreme and I know that many people do not agree with me and my beliefs and that is fine. I believe we can all live our lives in a manner that feels best to us as long as we pose no danger to anyone else. I am sure many think I am being judgemental, and maybe I am, but I am not trying to be, these are just observations I am making. I am not calling for a ban on electronic devices in coffee shops either, I just think we have gone a bit crazy with it all. When we have gotten to a point when we can’t even sit down and chat with a friend over coffee, something is wrong.

So if you are ever in a coffee shop near me, and you see a lone soul without a computer open or a phone out, please pull up a chair, I’d love to sit and chat!

 

Comments

KimTue, 16/10/12

I will pull up a chair and chat, I won't have a computer or phone either :)
I have noticed it too, mostly on Sunday's when we meet my mom and dad for tea. We are usually the only ones chatting, most are on the computer or phone. No judgement here, I just think it is sad.
 

dbdragonTue, 16/10/12

I agree Kim, no jugdement as people are allowed to spend their time anyway they like, but just strange. I suppose I am just getting older!!

KC PaganoWed, 17/10/12

Isn't the point of the coffee shop is to go and chat? I remember once my best friend and I sat and talk in a coffee shop for 4 hours! We came back smelling like a bag of coffee. That was 15 years ago. :)

YellowLadybirdThu, 18/10/12

I agree that it is a bit sad how people so easily get caught in their technology. But one way I think about computer use at cafes is that people go there to do work instead of sitting cooped up in a windowless, cramped cubicle. Working at a cafe might allow these people to have a little more connection to others and to the outside world than an office would, without the distractions of working from home. That makes it more understandable/justifiable to me. I personally can't work in a cafe setting, but I can understand why one might want to. And of course this does not explain a family all engrossed in their own devices, or people not chatting while in line. That I miss and hope we aren't losing that aspect of cafe culture completely.  Thanks for posting, I do enjoy your writing!

dbdragonSun, 28/10/12

I agree, the work the culture is something of another beast. My husband sometimes works there to escape the craziness of home. My observation was on those not working, just not engaging in the person across the table from them. It is just different times I suppose.

ImraSat, 27/10/12

I think this is very judgemental. I am not the one to use a phone/ computer at a coffee shop and my kid doesn't watch TV either - but to each his own. Some people do need to WORK.. and they do it in coffee shops. Maybe some of them were even reading your blog - or commenting on it - I find it very odd when bloggers complain about excessive use of screens - you are contributing to it as well! And some parents let their kids watch TV so they get some sapce. No need to take the moral high ground on choices you have been fortunate enough to make.

dbdragonSun, 28/10/12

Thank you for your comment. I am sorry you felt it was judgmental. I was only referring to the lack of the art of conversation between people . My husband often works at the coffee shop when things get too loud around here. The work culture of the coffee shop is something totally different! I was just observing the lack of communication going on between those seated at the same table, not working.
As for taking a moral high ground, I can assure you and anyone who knows me can tell you, I was feeling anything but morally superior when I walked in. I actually felt completely out of place and very lost. I often feel out of touch and worry that my decisions will have a negative impact on my children. Again, these were merely my observations. I am sorry that you found them offense.

Nic Sun, 28/10/12

it is definitely more common now to see everyone looking at some kind of screen (I'm doing it now!). I love going out without my phone and sometimes it does feel uncomfortable not to have it... my 10 year old boy was famous in our family as a small child for saying "so... let's sit down and have a chat, okay?" And the only acceptable answer was "okay."

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