Light

This post was meant for yesterday, but I couldn’t really bring myself to this space yesterday. In all honesty, I am finding it hard to be here even today. Tears still well up when I think about the past few days. I still look at my six year old’s face and think “WHY?” I am know I am not alone in this feeling, and I can’t not even begin to fathom what those who are actually a part of this atrocity are feeling. It is a sad time in our society, it is a sad time in our world right now. As parents, we are meant to keep the calm, to keep the stability, to keep us grounded and so this weekend that is just what we did. We stayed close, we tried to laugh a lot, and grown ups tried to keep tears hidden. We ate ice cream in the snow storm, we sang Christmas carols, we built gingerbread houses, we visited “family”, and we hugged, a lot. I was grateful for every single second of the past few days.

There is nothing to say that hasn’t been said a hundred times already. I weep for the innocent lost, I weep for the brave people that tried to defend them, and I weep for those who had to go in after and clean up the aftermath. I weep for those parents who are living through Hell, something no parent should ever have to live through. I weep for us as a society that we have come to this place. I am trying to find the light.

As we move into these darkest days of the year, let us hope that we find the light again. Let those whose lives are shattered and broken take comfort in the millions of arms and hearts that are there to help support them. I am trying to focus on seeing the good around me. I am trying to focus on all the things that I am so very grateful for, because I have to. I have two little boys who have no clue what has happened and I have be the one to show them the good, I must show them the light, because otherwise, the darkness wins, and that we cannot allow. I must believe that despite all of this tragedy, there is still light.